This Goalie “Breaks Down” After Tough Loss

Lacrosse goalies can break down after a pretty bad loss.  Sometimes it’s not even a loss that breaks a goalie down, it can just be a really hard effort. Today I got an email from Mike who is a high school goalie who just lost it after his game.  Has this ever happened to you?

Leave a comment below and let me know.  I’d love to hear about how it happened for you and what you did to deal with it.

In the meantime, here’s my advice to Mike.

Question:

I’ve got a question Johnathan,

Today we had a tough loss 8-7, and I kinda just lost it. Pretty much my emotions just took over me, and I just broke down. I think it’s because I put my heart into the game. Have you ever gotten like this? Is there anyway around it?

Thanks,
Mike

Answer:

Hey there Mike.  I feel ya.

There are a lot of reasons a goalie can break down after a game, especially if it’s close. Here are a couple of things to consider if this happens again:

1) You’re Tired

This happens to me a lot Mike, if I’m tired and things start to accumulate then I’m going to be on edge and little things can set me off.  I’m emotional at my core anyway, but if I’m tired, it can be very small things that can cause me to run off the rails a bit.

2) You’re Frustrated

I was totally like this my sophomore year of high school. I used to get really angry and wound up and if I felt my teammates weren’t playing up to my standards then I let them have it.  I mean, we’re the one that has to clean up for their mistakes, right?

When that middie loses his man, again…when that defender fails to slide, again…it can wear on you because your competitive nature seems to want it more than them.

The truth is, not a lot of players are going to “want it” as much as we do and that can really stress us out.

3) Your Expectation Is Higher Than Your Ability

This can happen at times…you want to win but you’re really not there yet.  Your expectation doesn’t really match your reality just yet.

It’s important to have lofty goals but sometimes they can heap a lot of pressure on ourselves.  A little bit of pressure is good but too much pressure can cause us to beat ourselves up and our performance suffers.

4) Your Progress Is Slower Than You’d Like It To Be

This is really an extension of all three above. You just “want it!”

You want to be better…now.

You want to stop more balls…now.

It never ends.

5) You’re Forgetting Just How Good You Are

An 8-7 loss is a tight game by anyone’s standard.  Just one goal separated you guys.

But you’re probably thinking of the last one that went by you.  The one you think you probably should have had.  But you’re not thinking of all the other great things you did in that game.

It’s easy for everyone to dwell on the last one that went in and caused the team to lose but there were thousands of other plays in that game that could have affected the outcome.  Do your best to think back on all the good players you made and not just the one’s you wish you had back. Remember, the goalie’s grade is NOT the scoreboard.

When I started training for the Olympics in the sport of luge (I know, I know, random) I had a coach who taught me, “The highs aren’t so high, and the lows aren’t so low as we make them out to be.” I think if you take a really long look at things and your career as a whole, these one-off losses, no matter how tough, aren’t so bad. They are just learning experiences. When you break everything down to learning experiences you take a more business like approach.

It’s ok to play with passion. It’s ok to get fired up. But at the end of the game you learn from what happened so that you can be a little bit better for the next game. That’s really all you can do.  Let your fire and your passion help you on each, individual attempt at saving the ball, then leave it on the field because you did your best.

That’s all you can do.

You’re Not The Only Person Out There

By breaking down after the game it just tells me you’re really passionate about playing. It means a lot to you to play your best. But you have to remember that it’s a team game. You are NOT the only person on the field and you have to rely on others for winning, and losing.

Breaking down is just your body’s way of dealing with the stress it’s been under. It’s a healthy thing to go through. Very healthy.

It’s important you release that emotion and you don’t store it in your body because it can affect you mentally as well.

As you move forward you can play with that same amount of passion, just harness it and focus it on improving your mistakes and helping your team get better.

Good luck Mike. Keep me posted on how things go. If you need anything else you just let me know.

Kick ass.